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Fairy Godmother October 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 9:34 pm
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For once I managed to control my urges, and apparently I do have enough will power to stop myself when needed,

(Shame this isn’t the case with diets or food binges)

Cinderella did not go to the ball, which I had been looking forward to all year and is one of the 4 events which I refuse to miss every year.

I was of course massively upset, brought right down to my lowest, nearly drawn to tears.

So putting the pretty dress, heels, and glittery makeup away it’s still niggling me ……. It would only take 10 minutes max to slip on that dress, those heels, that makeup.

That is the devil I believe or as I like to call her blabla.

The voice that after you’ve set everything out, created a plan, manned up your will power or started to put your PJ’s on, decides actually there is a better option.

I did fight her, and I won. However if it wasn’t for the fact that after the first 4 sambucas, and bottles of alcoholic sugary goodness, I become a hyperactive thirsty 24 year old. I would be able to control myself.

Unfortunately I am unable like many of us to control the point where you say no more.

I challenge myself to that ‘last’ sambuca, jagerbomb, agwa bomb, bottle of wkd, double jd and coke.

And the rest is a massive blur of what is only to become history.

This time work was the decider for me, a 8.15am start ment I’d have to be sober from at least 12am, just when the party is getting started and probably the moment i actually get there after all the pre drinking.Then theres the lock in.

Sudden death for an early morning shift at work, I did consider pulling the old sicky, but as the mega boss bitch was going to be there I couldn’t really of got away with it.

And all i need is her fiery bullshit breathing down my hung over neck.

 

Freedom October 18, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 8:15 pm
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Time to breathe

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 8:09 pm
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I spent weeks making this decision, I went over it again and again.

Going through all the scenarios, putting my drama skills to good use and reenacting the situations.

There really was no easy escape, no sensible way out anyway.

I was positive I was making the right choice and it was going to work out fine. And more importantly lift a huge elephant sized weight off my shoulders.

It was the best option to keep everyone happy.

No more mimbling along, this is now time for change!!

I will be, for once in my life, grown up and face this head on.

Unfortunately it seems as always I may have completely and utterly Fucked things up. Again.

This was one situation I didn’t consider. The fact that I might Fuck it all up.

 

Agony Aunt October 10, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 11:25 pm

Within a week I have become an agony aunt,

It has been hilarious to find out what my dearest and closet are capable of. And myself included.

Although I’m sure I always knew they were perfectly capable of creating their own dirty little secrets.

It has rapidly unfolded with one and slowly mounted up with the other.

Myself, it has taken years to perform these tasks undercover. And it is scary how easy it is to live undercover and incredibly exciting!!

But when does it all stop? It’s like an addiction, one I’m scared I may lose control of.

But I am the biggest hypocrite and they all know it, I dish out the advice I’m not ready to take myself

 

Excuse me I have a question ….. October 3, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 11:45 pm

What if colours are not as they seem?

How do we know that colour blind isn’t how the world really is, the sky could be green, the grass could be brown, green eggs and ham wasn’t a game.

colour-blind; To me this would suggest that the eyes of this person see nothing at all and have lost all sight.

Not that they see the world in an amazing way.

I’d imagine it would look something like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.

Maybe we are all colour blind and have lost our sight through generations of seeing through another’s eyes.

 

 

 

Apply within October 2, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 8:52 pm

It’s started . It won’t be long before it’s taken over every vein, muscle, and organ in my body.

I am rapidly going insane. I can not stand to stay at home a day longer!  I have been out I can’t say I’ve been inside my home for the whole time since the operation but for maybe an hour here and there.

If only i could bend my leg I could get in my car which just sits there giving me a sly grin every time i gaze at it out the window.

It’s safe for now but the moment i get a slight hint of a bend, that accelerator is mine!!

How on earth do these benefit claiming scum bags do this every day of their lives? surely they get bored and wish they could work?

Volunteer? anything! This is driving me insane, I can’t wait to go to work!!!

I am however enjoying all these get well gifts I’m receiving. a lot along the lines of booze which always makes me smile.