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I’ve been tricked! December 8, 2011

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Remember all my worrying and careful planning for when the Ex appears …….

Well that’s all gone out the window like a hurricane

He surprised me, There I am innocently at work replying to emails

Ding Dong

First Thought; ‘Bet the sodding guests have forgotten their key’

So I haul myself out of this comfy position, walk to the door, I can’t see anyone.

Second though; ‘An axe murderer is hiding round the corner and he’s come to get me’

I peer round the corner before opening the door and my Ex is stood there with a bunch of flowers.

Third thought; ‘FUCK, Leave him out there until you’ve prepared’

What actually happened is something took over my body opened up the door launched a hug at him and then continued with;

‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ sporting a big grin!

I am in utter shock seems as he wasn’t due home for at least 4 more weeks.

This is a surreal surprise, I can’t quite get it into my head that he is actually in front of me.

I keep thinking I’ll snap out of it in a minute and wake up.

It’s been a week now ……. I’ve come round to the idea that this is actually not a dream.

Truthfully I’m still sporting that stupid grin from last week.

I love it but it aint half giving me jaw ache!

 

Whats happened here … November 30, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 6:33 pm
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Gone are the days where all that mattered was my next fix of Southern Comfort and disco lights

When the adrenalin would circle rapidly around my body when one of my favourite songs came on.

And gone are the days when injuries were sustained falling off the stage/stairs/ my own feet.

I now have a new fix, it overpowers the old urges I used to get, and it could possibly cost me a lot more than the old one, but at least I’ll have something to show for it.

I’ve heard the knock at the door a hundred times before, but now it’s my adrenalin rush being delivered.

My hearts racing as I rip open the plastic wrapping, then the sodding tissue paper (nice touch but right now I couldn’t care)

And tadaaaaaaaaaaa here it is the arm/leg/body/centre piece to a new creation.

It’s 8.30am and I NEED to fire up the sewing machine and put life into this flat new-born fabric.

But what buttons, ribbon, stitch, sequins?

I have officially flip my life 180 degrees and come out the other side of alcohol comatose into a material heaven.

I’m still in there somewhere, I know this because when handed 2 free bottles of Blueberry vodka ……. my heart skipped.

Unlike before I would have bought enough lemonade to drown the 2 bottles, now I see cocktails and shooters.

I am not new I just controlled the old.

 

A little nervous … November 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 9:06 pm
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Ok so picture this ………. You split up with your ex over 5 years ago.

There has always been a connection between the both of you.

It was a little bit of a messy break up ….. not the worst in man kind but it most definitely wasn’t clean!!

You did the only humanly thing possible and went back and forth for over 3 months until it finally ended.

You still saw each other every now and then, and occasionally met up.

On the occasions you did meet up there was definitely still something sexual between you, although you did not break and stood your ground.

BUT IT HAS BEEN NEARLY 3 YEARS SINCE EITHER OF YOU HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER IN PERSON.

And over the last 3 months it somehow became a good idea to get back together once he gets back from traveling.

Not that I’m regretting that decision, I mean we were young before and needed time apart, maybe not 5 years.

The thing that is constantly roaming my few brain cells I’ve managed to keep intact is;

What do you do when you meet your ex again?

Hug? Kiss? shake hands??

None of the above bothered me untill he mentioned it this evening.

I’m on the verge of peeing my pants!!

It can go 2 ways …….

1; I’ll lock the door and pretend no-one is home, although I only spoke to him minutes before. And possibly become a recluse

2; I’ll open the door hug, kiss then shake his hand , possible a head butt then proceed slam the door in his face.

I am certain this will be a disaster!

 

Let it snow….

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 9:03 pm
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It’s official, I’m one of the cool kids, a rock and roll legend, a role model.

Well possibly none of the above as my hobby turn career is most definitely not something the cool kids meet up to do

I don’t remember the last article on a rock and roll legend which included this in their daily routine

and it is most definitely not a piece of roll model advice you’d hand out to the confused little munchkins.

……. Hi My names Blue and I sew, cushions, throws, hats, key rings, decorations,

Not exactly what you were expecting right, didn’t think so. I have travelled down the food chain to the very bottom and actually it’s pretty relaxed down here. I have finally stumbled upon my inner designer, I have always been interested in design,

However i did think this was something to do with my alien hands who like to pick up beautiful dresses, cushions, and all things pretty, take my debit cards out of my purse and hand them over to the over make-uped girls behind the counter who are more than happy to take my money, which of course is creating a smile ear to ear across their faces with the light up for commission.

Actually the above is a partial lie, it’s always my credit card the alien hands go for and when their on a roll there’s no telling how much interest i’ll be paying by the end of it.

I am not all lost, I managed to regain control and now enjoy spending my time shopping for fabric, buttons and ribbons.

I then like to tuck my self away and sew.

I am now at the opposite end of social. And I love it.

 

Imagine this ……. November 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 10:00 pm
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Ok so imagine this ……… You split up with you ex over 5 years ago.

You went back a millions times over 3 months until it finally came to an end.

The breakup was a little messy, not the worst but definitely not clean.

You’ve kept in contact and their’s always been some connection between you.

You met up occasionally, only as friends but one of you was always after more.

However it was always the opposite that was stronger.

You haven’t seen each other for 3 years what with you travelling, then him travelling.

And over the last 3 years relationships have come and gone.

It has somehow become an insanely good idea to get back together when he gets home next month!!

Insane being the main victim in this.

I mean I’m not saying it isn’t a good idea, we were young and immature all those years ago.

We needed time apart ….. maybe not 5 years but it’ll do.

I’m more worried about the moment I meet him again, almost like the first time you go on a date and you’re not really sure whether a kiss is on the cards.

However this isn’t our first date more like our 100th.

Do  hug him? Kiss him? Or shake his hand??

This could surely only ever end in disaster.

 

Fairy Godmother October 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 9:34 pm
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For once I managed to control my urges, and apparently I do have enough will power to stop myself when needed,

(Shame this isn’t the case with diets or food binges)

Cinderella did not go to the ball, which I had been looking forward to all year and is one of the 4 events which I refuse to miss every year.

I was of course massively upset, brought right down to my lowest, nearly drawn to tears.

So putting the pretty dress, heels, and glittery makeup away it’s still niggling me ……. It would only take 10 minutes max to slip on that dress, those heels, that makeup.

That is the devil I believe or as I like to call her blabla.

The voice that after you’ve set everything out, created a plan, manned up your will power or started to put your PJ’s on, decides actually there is a better option.

I did fight her, and I won. However if it wasn’t for the fact that after the first 4 sambucas, and bottles of alcoholic sugary goodness, I become a hyperactive thirsty 24 year old. I would be able to control myself.

Unfortunately I am unable like many of us to control the point where you say no more.

I challenge myself to that ‘last’ sambuca, jagerbomb, agwa bomb, bottle of wkd, double jd and coke.

And the rest is a massive blur of what is only to become history.

This time work was the decider for me, a 8.15am start ment I’d have to be sober from at least 12am, just when the party is getting started and probably the moment i actually get there after all the pre drinking.Then theres the lock in.

Sudden death for an early morning shift at work, I did consider pulling the old sicky, but as the mega boss bitch was going to be there I couldn’t really of got away with it.

And all i need is her fiery bullshit breathing down my hung over neck.

 

Freedom October 18, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 8:15 pm
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