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Liquid Memories February 25, 2012

I came in from work the other day and literally collapsed on my bed from exhaustion

I caught the scent of my partners aftershave, it literally brought back a thousand memories, some good, amazing, funny, and some bad but all worth remembering.

I remembered things I hadn’t thought of in years.

Strange isn’t it that at the end of an exhausting day this surreal experience could happen and send my mind into an ever lasting spiral of thought.

It made me realise that I don’t stop to relax and take in the scents, lights, or colours around me.

 I notice it on my Nan who i love with every inch of my heart, It reminds me she will always put everyone before herself no matter how little she has, it is always too much.

I notice it on my Mum, It reminds me of the strength she has, how independent she is and how she taught me to survive.

I notice it on my closest friend, It reminds me of the smile she pushed out through the depression, she is my hero and will always remain a warrior in my eyes.

I notice it on other family and friends to, these are the people who have impacted my life and left their ever lasting print.

perfume is my liquid memory.

 

All I have February 16, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 11:56 pm
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I gave you my all, I gave you this
One thing I asked from you
One thing you couldn’t miss
My baby, my love, my all
My world, my life, my future
My complete fall

 

I’ve been tricked! December 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 10:01 pm
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Remember all my worrying and careful planning for when the Ex appears …….

Well that’s all gone out the window like a hurricane

He surprised me, There I am innocently at work replying to emails

Ding Dong

First Thought; ‘Bet the sodding guests have forgotten their key’

So I haul myself out of this comfy position, walk to the door, I can’t see anyone.

Second though; ‘An axe murderer is hiding round the corner and he’s come to get me’

I peer round the corner before opening the door and my Ex is stood there with a bunch of flowers.

Third thought; ‘FUCK, Leave him out there until you’ve prepared’

What actually happened is something took over my body opened up the door launched a hug at him and then continued with;

‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ sporting a big grin!

I am in utter shock seems as he wasn’t due home for at least 4 more weeks.

This is a surreal surprise, I can’t quite get it into my head that he is actually in front of me.

I keep thinking I’ll snap out of it in a minute and wake up.

It’s been a week now ……. I’ve come round to the idea that this is actually not a dream.

Truthfully I’m still sporting that stupid grin from last week.

I love it but it aint half giving me jaw ache!

 

A little nervous … November 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 9:06 pm
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Ok so picture this ………. You split up with your ex over 5 years ago.

There has always been a connection between the both of you.

It was a little bit of a messy break up ….. not the worst in man kind but it most definitely wasn’t clean!!

You did the only humanly thing possible and went back and forth for over 3 months until it finally ended.

You still saw each other every now and then, and occasionally met up.

On the occasions you did meet up there was definitely still something sexual between you, although you did not break and stood your ground.

BUT IT HAS BEEN NEARLY 3 YEARS SINCE EITHER OF YOU HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER IN PERSON.

And over the last 3 months it somehow became a good idea to get back together once he gets back from traveling.

Not that I’m regretting that decision, I mean we were young before and needed time apart, maybe not 5 years.

The thing that is constantly roaming my few brain cells I’ve managed to keep intact is;

What do you do when you meet your ex again?

Hug? Kiss? shake hands??

None of the above bothered me untill he mentioned it this evening.

I’m on the verge of peeing my pants!!

It can go 2 ways …….

1; I’ll lock the door and pretend no-one is home, although I only spoke to him minutes before. And possibly become a recluse

2; I’ll open the door hug, kiss then shake his hand , possible a head butt then proceed slam the door in his face.

I am certain this will be a disaster!

 

Imagine this ……. November 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondblueeyes @ 10:00 pm
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Ok so imagine this ……… You split up with you ex over 5 years ago.

You went back a millions times over 3 months until it finally came to an end.

The breakup was a little messy, not the worst but definitely not clean.

You’ve kept in contact and their’s always been some connection between you.

You met up occasionally, only as friends but one of you was always after more.

However it was always the opposite that was stronger.

You haven’t seen each other for 3 years what with you travelling, then him travelling.

And over the last 3 years relationships have come and gone.

It has somehow become an insanely good idea to get back together when he gets home next month!!

Insane being the main victim in this.

I mean I’m not saying it isn’t a good idea, we were young and immature all those years ago.

We needed time apart ….. maybe not 5 years but it’ll do.

I’m more worried about the moment I meet him again, almost like the first time you go on a date and you’re not really sure whether a kiss is on the cards.

However this isn’t our first date more like our 100th.

Do  hug him? Kiss him? Or shake his hand??

This could surely only ever end in disaster.